Legally reviewed by Elliot S. Raimondo - Raimondo & Sundquist LLP

Divorce is never easy, regardless of who you are or what your marriage looked like, but LGBTQ+ couples may have certain concerns that feel especially personal, complicated, or difficult to explain to someone who does not understand their family structure. This is particularly true when there are children involved, when property was acquired before marriage equality, or when one spouse is worried that the legal process will not fully account for the reality of the life they built together. Fortunately, divorce mediation can be a useful option for many LGBTQ+ couples in New York, especially those who want to resolve their issues with privacy, dignity, and a greater degree of control over the outcome. Please continue reading and contact an experienced Buffalo LGBTQ+ family lawyer from Raimondo & Sundquist LLP to learn more about mediation and whether it may be right for you. Here are some of the questions you may have:

How Can Mediation Help LGBTQ+ Couples During Divorce?

Simply put, mediation is a process where spouses work with a neutral third party to resolve the issues in their divorce outside of a traditional courtroom setting. The mediator does not represent either spouse, and he or she does not make decisions for the couple. Instead, the mediator helps both parties communicate, identify the issues that must be resolved, and hopefully reach an agreement that can later be submitted to the court. For LGBTQ+ couples, mediation may be especially helpful because it can allow spouses to address issues such as:

  • Parenting time and custody arrangements.
  • Division of marital property.
  • Spousal maintenance.
  • Retirement accounts and other financial assets.
  • Real estate purchased before or after the marriage.
  • Concerns involving privacy, family acceptance, or sensitive personal history.
  • The legal role of each parent when children are involved.

What Issues Can Make LGBTQ+ Divorce More Complicated?

Though same-sex marriage has been legally recognized in New York for years, some LGBTQ+ divorces still involve unique timing and documentation issues. For example, a couple may have been together for many years before they were legally allowed to marry, and during that time, they may have purchased property, raised children, opened accounts, or supported one another financially. Some issues that may require more careful attention are as follows:

  • Whether property acquired before the legal marriage should be addressed in the settlement.
  • Whether both spouses are legally recognized as parents.
  • Whether one spouse adopted the child or is listed on the birth certificate.
  • How long the relationship lasted before the legal marriage began.
  • Whether a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement exists.
  • Whether one spouse financially supported the other before marriage.

Is Mediation the Right Choice for Every LGBTQ+ Couple?

Fortunately, mediation works well for many couples, but it is not the right option for every divorce. If both spouses are willing to communicate honestly, exchange full financial information, and negotiate in good faith, mediation may save time, reduce conflict, and help both parties move forward with less hostility. Mediation may be a good option when:

  • Both spouses are willing to participate voluntarily.
  • There is a basic level of trust and safety between the parties.
  • Each spouse is prepared to disclose financial information.
  • The couple wants to keep personal matters as private as possible.
  • Both parties want more control over the terms of their divorce.

On the other hand, mediation may not be appropriate if there is domestic violence, coercion, hidden assets, severe power imbalance, or one spouse refuses to be honest about finances or parenting issues. In those cases, litigation may be necessary to protect one spouse’s rights and ensure the court has the full picture.

The bottom line is that if you are an LGBTQ+ spouse preparing for divorce, our firm is here to help. Contact Raimondo & Sundquist LLP for an initial consultation today so we can discuss your circumstances.